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The Inconvenient Truth: You Can Only Trust Gas

Tags | Al Gore, Inconvenient Truth, Kathmandu, Load shedding, Nepal

That’s right. You heard me. Through the vapours of my steaming hot shower after the comforting click click click bruuuum of the automatic gas powered shower. I’ll admit, at first I was dubious: the blue plastic hose that hangs across the bathroom wall and goes through the open window at the back, the “switches” on the unit that are more for decoration than anything else, and the weird digital read-out on the front that has 3 lighted up backwards and skips from there to 9 as the flames take hold. From arctic iceberg to boiling lava in just a few clicks. Leaving the soaped up showeree a 1-2 second window to get some water out before risking 3rd degree burns. Still, I’ll take it over an electric shower, or any electrical appliances, any day.

HA Literally as I typed that last sentence my emotionally sensitive inverter pip pip pipped its disapproval followed by the sound I’ve come to hate: the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee that means no more juice for the rest of the day. Or headlight and candles, if it’s past 5:30pm. It’s Saturday morning for crying out loud! Lesser mortals might check the loadshedding schedule, or even figure out which group of the city they’re in to strategize an electricity-efficient plan. Not me. If I’ve learned one thing out here it’s that you can’t predict anything. Even if it’s written down. Especially if it’s written down, in fact. It’s the land of shrugs and head shakes (side to side meaning positive – there’s nowt negative out here – not superficially so, at least – the classic south asian “side nod” TM), not timetables and schedules. Call it a buddhist, non-grasping approach to energy consumption. 

Yes, yes, the kettle does boil a million times faster than a stove top, yes, it is nicer to have light that you can point where you want it, BUT if it comes out of a socket, you just can’t trust it. It’s like the flakey friend you always invite over, who’s amazing company when they’re with you, but who always makes their excuses early or sometimes doesn’t bother showing up at all. I say give me the moderately interesting rounded orange top you can rely on every time. Yes, you, my chipped, rusting gas cylinder buddy. With a flick of your yellow switch we know where we stand.

All I need now is for Al Gore to rise out of the cistern on that extendable crane he used in An Inconvenient Truth. Preferably when the electricity’s back on, as otherwise the water doesn’t get pumped in. Did I mention that?